Practically every parent wants the best for their child or children. This is especially true when it comes to teaching children how to overcome obstacles in life and embrace challenges.
This article examines how your parenting style can create resiliency in your child's life.
Even though Harmony seeks to instill a sense of resiliency in our students via the lessons of 'The Hero's Journey,' resiliency starts at home. What exactly is resiliency? It is related to confidence and the ability to take risks.
However, toxic shame from childhood can make children averse to risk because the emotional stakes are too high when faced with potential rejection.
Shame: The #1 Hinderance to Resiliency
Below is a chart that shows how parenting based in shame can hinder a child's resiliency to the obstacles that are bound to occur in life. Though we are all aiming to be good parents, there may be times when we make mistakes or repeat negative responses from our own childhood.
Love: Covers a multitude of mistakes
Please know a caring heart and a warm embrace can make up for less-than-perfect moments. And we are doing a better job at parenting than we may think!
Let's keep doing our best, learning from our mistakes and appreciate that we are doing a grand and important job. Family bonds can truly fill in any gaps with a love that transcends mistakes ( From Elizabeth Pantley; "The No-Cry Discipline Solution, 2007).
Source: Patrick Teahan, LICSW, https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbWvYupGqq3aMJ6LsG4q-Yg/featured
Reflection: Use your Past to Change the Future
As the great Activist, Poet and Writer Maya Angelou states, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then when you know better, do better."
So let's take some time to reflect on our childhood to acknowledge how we were parented. This will help inform why a certain parenting style or experience may be unintentionally be getting re-created. Ultimately once we see and innerstand [sic] the issue, we may then and only then begin to create change and do better.
What are some of the ways your upbringing may have been toxic or healthy?
In what ways have you or your partner possibly parented out of shame or fear with the goal of relieving parental stress?
In what ways have you or your partner possibly parented out of love with the goal of creating a resilient child?
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